The pile of cow feces known as "Twilight"

Since I can remember, vampires have always been my favorite type of demon/monster (vs Frankenstein or zombies, etc), mainly due to the fact that they could kick some serious ass, be as big of douche bags as they wanted, kill all sorts of people, and still come out getting the girl and being bamf's. If you need to see an example of this, I welcome you to watch any of the Blade Trilogy or 30 Days of Night.


Then a bunch of teenage girls got their hands on the awesomely badass garlic-and-sunlight loathing legends and turned them into complete pussies. They called this piece of crap Twilight.

Just to give you a taste of the things wrong with this movie, I will list some of its worst offenses:
1. the vampires SPARKLE in the sun. need i say more?
2. the plot revolves around a high school love story. If there was anything about vampires that's true, its that they wouldn't waste their immortality going to freaking high school. Lets be honest, if we were eternally in the prime of our youth, I think we would be doing more than sitting through the same boring ass high school classes and all of its bullshit.
3. any words spoken are corny as hell. no smart ass remarks, no jokes, nothing. for god's sake, at least there could've been a little swearing or something.
I could go on but I want to get some other work done. And there's a Wild game on right now. Ill just leave you with what paint and about 3 min of work can do.